The Loop Trilogy: Star Loop Episode V - The Premiership Strikes Back

Namaskaara and welcome to the sequel of the sequel of the blockbusting Loop Trilogy. Reggie Skywalker and Joe Solo used the Force (Big Manju) to visit the far, far away galaxies of Charlie 2, Tango 5, and Echo 4. 
Tango 5's protocol droid Helen Smith accepted the challenge to live up to the high expectations connected to this chapter of the saga. And fail she did not:

Guest blog in progress, thank you Helen!

Tango 5 conquering ...

... the lush surroundings of the Banasura dam,...

... arid mountains, ...

... and dirt.

Hello and a big fat welcome to a little taste of Tango 5’s trek through northern Kerala. We are having an absolute whale of a time halfway through our trek-a-thon, have crossed the King Cobra, Indian elephant, and faux-leopard tail (a “hilarious” April fool by the PMs involving a 6am leopard alarm on the one day we could have had a lie in – really witty one guys!) off our list of quintessential Indian jungle creatures to see, and eaten enough porridge to feed a medium sized vegetarian tiger for a month.

The venturers are not bad at April fooling either.

Our days mainly consist of early starts when the air is still misty and anything left outside is unbearably wet, monotonous but beloved Snackies for lunch and harsh climbs followed by a) wonderful views b) hideous sweats and c) (at length) treacherous descents. We have crossed rocky rivers, fought leeches, discovered the secrets of “demon mountain” (believe me, they were good), swam in the second largest dam in Asia, trudged through shoulder-high lemon grass, rafted on bamboo vessels of our own creation, and biked through winding tea plantations and down dusty tracks to chai stops. 

Despite all of this natural wonder, approximately half of Tango 5 would still argue that their highlight came one seemingly unspectacular Sunday evening at around 9pm under the facade of a 5-a-side kick around with a football. It was clear as soon as we set off down the road to the pitch that this was not quite the case. Motorbikes and tuktuks lined the potholed road up to the pitch, eager locals flocked, and the excitement in the air was as tangible as one of James’ or Will’s “bomb-blasts” (or maybe I’m just confusing the two). 

Lethal combination

We arrived to a floodlit pitch and gathered crowd of what must have been over 1000, a glinting trophy on a table in front of the pitch and an announcement over the tannoy that an English premiership team had arrived (don’t know who gave them that impression). Essentially, an hour of surreal madness ensued, our slightly shell shocked team of Barney, James, Will, Kris, and MK (Editor’s note: That’s Kerala hood slang for Mrinal Koijam) dressed in borrowed luminous shirts were photographed wildly by the crowd and thrust onto the pitch to shake hands with various grinning people, stand in a line and watch a huge firework being set off. I half expected them to start singing the national anthem. The match was an intense display of determination. Our ever-inventive cheers of “We are, we are Tango 5” not falling on deaf ears and securing The Tango 5 the first goal of the game. Time wore on. James' walking boots skidded. Kris effortlessly saved goal upon goal. Barney did a spectacular forward roll. They were up 1:0. But dreams can’t last forever and next thing we knew it was a 2:1 defeat and our boys were trudging off the pitch like returning heroes with complexions like sundried tomatoes. It was probably just as well though as by this time it was 10:15pm, we had a 40 km bike the next day, and I don’t think they could have kept their eyes open till the semi-final round. 

A massive crowd had gathered for this display of sporting excellence.

Just before singing "God save the Queen" (Sex Pistols' version though, I think.)

The famous 15 minutes of fame.

(Editor's note: I would have loved to show you some action pictures, but Tango 5 was just too fast for the camera.)

Nevertheless, this was definitely an experience for the anecdote book, a sensation which we’re all finding every day as we pass through beautiful villages with the promise of soda for Chyna and chocolate for the rest of us, and squeeze our way through vines and round trees on forest tracks that will stay with us for a lifetime. Less so, but still as enjoyable are the Nutella and Parle-G frenzies at pudding times, Tang-induced sugar highs, and – I apologise profusely but I have to say it – general group banter that makes Tango 5 THE place to be at this time of the year. This is Helen Smith on behalf of the incomparable Tango 5 listening out.

Tan! Go!

This is where you end up after the Easter-appropriate Pilgrim Trail.

Happy Easter everyone!

Dear friends and family of Tango 5, if you click on that little box just underneath, you will find something to be really, really jealous of. And some lovely greetings of course:

And now: Messages scored "a little with the head of Tango 5 and a little with the hand of God":

From Charlotte

From Helen

From Izi (NB: there are two Izis in Tango 5)

From Jenna

From Kris

From Steve

From Victoria